You Don’t Need a Better Company to Become a Better Leader

When self-work becomes the quiet system change we’ve been waiting for
I’ve worked in seven different organisations across industries as varied as retail, manufacturing, semiconductors, pharmaceuticals, and consumer health.
On paper, it was progression. New titles. Bigger roles. Broader scope.
And when I moved, I told myself the usual story: “This is a better opportunity.”
But if I’m honest, really honest it wasn’t always just opportunity that pulled me forward.
It was frustration that pushed me.
Something about the culture didn’t feel right.
Something about the politics wore me down.
Something about the way we worked began to grate at me until the next offer felt like a way out.
And while I never left in anger, I also never found peace.
Because the truth is, I was waiting for the system to change, and never fully questioning the part of me that kept looking outward for relief.
The Fear Is Real. And It Has a Cost.
Let me be clear: I’m not naive about how this works.
When you speak up inside a system, there’s risk.
Your bonus might be impacted.
You might lose visibility.
You might become a problem to manage.
And in times of restructure which, let’s be honest, is most of the time you may find yourself next in line.
I’ve lived that fear.
I’ve seen its consequences.
And I know that speaking up, showing up differently, or even being fully yourself in leadership spaces… can feel dangerous.
So no, I’m not saying ignore the fear.
I’m saying something else:
You can change your experience without blowing everything up.
But it takes emotional strength.
It takes inner support.
And it takes timing not impulsiveness.
I Couldn’t Have Done This Five Years Ago
If I’m honest, I wasn’t ready five years ago.
Back then, I was running on fumes.
I looked successful, but I was burnt out inside.
I didn’t have the capacity to speak with clarity or sit with the discomfort that came when I did.
I was triggered. Reactive. Fragile beneath the polish.
The difference now?
I’ve rebuilt.
I’ve done the emotional regulation work.
I’ve learned how to hold my truth with care.
I’ve developed the capacity to co-exist in systems that don’t always reflect my values without collapsing my own.
And I know it’s possible… because I went back.
After leaving corporate, I returned for 18 months in a senior role fully aware, fully conscious, and fully aligned.
And what I experienced surprised me:
I could stay. I could speak.
I could lead differently.
Not perfectly. Not without effort.
But without abandoning myself.
Most of Us Are Waiting
Throughout my career and now in my coaching I see the same quiet resignation in high-performing professionals:
“I could lead differently… if the culture changed.”
“I want to be more honest… but this place wouldn’t accept it.”
“I want to stay true to myself… but I can’t afford the consequences.”
And I get it.
The system teaches us to manage risk.
But in the process, we often outsource our growth.
We wait for the conditions to be perfect.
We wait for a boss who gets us.
We wait for the culture to soften before we show who we really are.
And in the waiting, we begin to shrink.
The System Might Not Change. But You Still Can.
I’m not saying don’t push for change.
I’m saying: don’t wait for it to happen before you start your own.
Because the moment you begin to:
- Say no to what’s out of alignment,
- Honour your body as much as your inbox,
- Create micro-moments of truth in your meetings,
…you’re no longer performing inside the system.
You’re participating differently.
That shift isn’t just personal.
It’s contagious.
People feel your clarity.
They notice your boundaries.
They trust your presence because it’s no longer performative.
That’s leadership.
Not from the top down but from the inside out.
A Health Warning I Wish I’d Heard
Let me also say this clearly:
You need to be emotionally ready.
This work is not for the already burnt out.
It’s not for the sleep-deprived, soul-weary, barely-holding-it-together version of you.
That version of me wouldn’t have coped with this approach.
She needed rest. Stillness. Restoration.
If that’s where you are, don’t start with strategy.
Start with softness.
Rebuild your nervous system first.
Find support. Find stillness. Then lead.
But if you’re in a place where you feel the capacity building even slightly this may be the time to begin.
Not with a declaration. But with a shift.
Self-Leadership Is System Change
We think of systems as something “out there.”
But they live inside us, too.
Every time we override our truth to be liked…
Every time we ignore our body to meet a deadline…
Every time we coach others to be courageous while silencing ourselves…
We reinforce the very patterns we say we want to leave behind.
You don’t have to be a cultural hero.
You just have to start with yourself.
You don’t need a better company to become a better leader.
You just need to lead differently from within. 💬 What’s one internal shift you’ve made that changed how you relate to the system around you?